Monday, October 5, 2009

Something's missing..

Its John Mayer month in my head, hence the titles..

Many things are missing.

- John Lennon. Jim Morrison.
- priorities.
- perspective.
- people. Too many of them.
- parents.
- poker playing abilities.
- PEOPLE! :(
- passion.
- money!
- guts.
- homeworks, assignments; from my end.
- will power.
- the don't-give-a-damn attitude.


I can finally feel myself growing up, kind of, and I'm not sure I like it. I always thought growing up would involve most of the aforementioned missing things, and would atleast, sort of, be fun. Parts of it are fun, but a majority of it is quite lonely and annoying. To an extent that you forget the fun parts of it. Its bad enough when you don't live up to the expectations of those you give a damn about, its worse when you don't live up to your own expectations. And then you delve into that and start thinking about where you went wrong and what you did and what people thought. Then the don't-give-a-damn attitude you were once so proud of is non existent.

To make things worse, the one thing I have really been looking forward to is not working out and I don't think I can make it back home during Christmas. :(

God, please make the thought process stop. And, please please please PLEASE make things better and more interesting and please do something so I can look forward to each day! And give me my hyper-self back! And find a way to feed my craziness because I am toooo blah nowadays! And arrange something, PLEASE, so I can meet with John Mayer. And yes, please make my don't-care-less attitude return! Amen.

6 comments:

88 said...

Can't help you with the hyperness (is that even a word?!) but could definitely with the poker playing :)

Silverstreak said...

Would really appreciate it! I'm losing a lot of money here! :(


Hyper-ness? Don't think so. :)

88 said...

OK sure... how about you drop me a line at blackfayt@gmail.com and lets see how we can take this forward...

I still like Hyperness... that agitated sister of the Lochness... yeah OK my poker skills are better than my knowldge of Gaelic sea monsters :D

~R~ said...

Hmm.
Well, play strip poker. That way, you don't lose money, you gain craziness, to do it you'll have to drink so you'll automatically become more hyper, and since it's your clothes you'll somehow play properly and get really good!
Also, you cna find a job here for the winter so come back. Vikash can definetely find you one.
There. Now everything's better.

Silverstreak said...

@~R~ - Since they're my clothes, I'll play better? Do you not know me???? Lol!

LM said...

and now i really believe that you are never alone in feeling a particular way.