Its John Mayer month in my head, hence the titles..
Many things are missing.
- John Lennon. Jim Morrison.
- people. Too many of them.
- poker playing abilities.
- PEOPLE! :(
- homeworks, assignments; from my end.
- will power.
- the don't-give-a-damn attitude.
I can finally feel myself growing up, kind of, and I'm not sure I like it. I always thought growing up would involve most of the aforementioned missing things, and would atleast, sort of, be fun. Parts of it are fun, but a majority of it is quite lonely and annoying. To an extent that you forget the fun parts of it. Its bad enough when you don't live up to the expectations of those you give a damn about, its worse when you don't live up to your own expectations. And then you delve into that and start thinking about where you went wrong and what you did and what people thought. Then the don't-give-a-damn attitude you were once so proud of is non existent.
To make things worse, the one thing I have really been looking forward to is not working out and I don't think I can make it back home during Christmas. :(
God, please make the thought process stop. And, please please please PLEASE make things better and more interesting and please do something so I can look forward to each day! And give me my hyper-self back! And find a way to feed my craziness because I am toooo blah nowadays! And arrange something, PLEASE, so I can meet with John Mayer. And yes, please make my don't-care-less attitude return! Amen.