Thursday, April 30, 2009

Remember how in Archie comics, Archie and the boys always fall for the hot new female teacher, who always seems to be their art teacher somehow! Growing up in a girls school, I never had a "teacher crush". Nor in college.

*enter 8th semester project guide*

My project guide is just awesome! And my friends and me have this major older dude thing for him! He's well over forty, and he's the smartest dude you would've ever met! He's a scientist (how cool is that!!?) and just wow, and he scares the shit out of me!!! You should see him walk, if he were in a marathon, he would win it, hands down! After lunch, when my friends and me grudgingly crawl back to our project campus, he just walks past us like he's Michael Johnson or something. And this is throughout the day! And he has an answer for EVERYTHING. You try to say something, and all he has to say is, OK, let me put it this way, and you'll just completely forget the point you were trying to make. Me, I'm left speechless when he asks me anything, and that results in the excess garbage that emanates from my mouth! Even scarier is his laugh. Its actually like a mad scientist, or as Phoebe puts it, the plan laugh. Its resounding and you can hear it all the way across the corridor. But he's awesome! I give him the Supreme Awesomeness Certificate! :)

And what doesn't help is that our project progress is like, really slow, and we end up looking like stupid retards to him, who are probably the laziest fools on the planet. And that's not cool. :(

Friday, April 24, 2009

And then there were three!

Conversation with CJ last night:

Happy birthday to you! (me)
Happy birthday to you! (me)
Happy birthday to TC! (meeeeee)
Happy birthday to you! (meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee)

If you're confused that was him going, 'meeeeee' in the background. OnE happy 22 year old.

Happy birthday, Mr. ManU! :)

PS - CJ, TC and Mr. ManU are the same person.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Warning sign

I searched throughout ~R~'s blog to find her post on "fight or flee" but I couldn't find it. Here's the link to her blog, and if you look around and happen to find it, do read it. Its awesome.

This post is vaguely related to that.

Its also related to how big a douche I am.

I apologise for any ambiguity in this post. I'm sorry I will not be able to answer more questions than what I will be saying about the douche part. I don't get personal on this blog, and that, is. Then why the post? Well, I needed this outlet, and this will serve as a permanent reminder to me, or atleast till this blog is around, of how big a douche I can sometimes be. Also, to you readers, that awesome people can also make mistakes.

Remember when you went shopping? And you saw these perfect shoes on sale, but you were too lazy to go buy them and decided to pick them up the next day? Only the next day came, and they were completely sold out?

Didn't happen to you? Remember how you told yourself next time I will say something. I will tell her exactly what I think. Only the next time never came, or worse still, the next time came and you still kept mum.

That didn't happen either? OK, fine remember the time you told everyone, this is it. I'm going to do it. And then chickened out and missed your chance forever?

OH COME ON! If none of these happened to you, you're either lying, or you're... no wait, you're definitely lying! Anyway, aforementioned examples are a little extreme/non-trivial but they describe exactly what I'm feeling right now; i.e like a douche/doof/idiot/big fat loser chicken!

I fight, I do. But for all the wrong things. Things that are absolutely insignificant. No tomatoes (OK, no wait, I can't believe I said that, no tomatoes means NO TOMATOES. Period.). Internal marks (see after 4 years of engineering, they do seem pretty insignificant). Permission issues - car perm, dinner perm, stayover perm, all sorts of perm.

I don't, however, fight for the important things! I very literally flee. No, I actually run away, and pretty quickly at that. And I did that today. *ambiguity begins* After the freaking out and deciding, yes this it, I'm going to do it. When after, a really really REALLY long time, I felt the crazy rush to do something of the sort. After the crazy coincidences. After the looking. After Porcupine Tree. After Pink Floyd. After COLDPLAY. After the saying. After the winning. After the million 'OH MY GOD's'! After the leaving, after the waiting...

Today, I didn't fight. I fled. And I so totally want to hit myself for doing so. I won't but I still want to. Sigh.

Anyway, resolution after today. FIGHT, search, and believe that you are going to get a second chance. I know I will. Get the second chance, that is. And then, I strike. And you will see me, rather I, will see me. The fighter. The getter. The winner!

Saturday, April 18, 2009


This will be a slightly long post. But don't skip, it is MOST entertaining. I vouch for it!

Small thinking exercise. Multiply the most ridiculous thing you've ever seen or read about by, hmmm, lets say, ten thousand, and you get this.

*what rubbish, nothing can be as bad as Lallu Prasad Yadav, or even Pramod Mutalik for that matter*

Read on.

*for reasons (mainly, my own education), I shall not mention the name of the college in mention*

Actually lets have some fun and call it, OMGIT -Oh my God - Institute of Tech.

A brief introduction.

Recently, in a famous Bangalore newspaper, there was a news article about OMGIT. I study in OMGIT. OMGIT is a professional engineering college in Bangalore. And all the students in this particular college, like all other engineering colleges are all above the age of, say 18. Adults. OMGIT has always been a little overboard and crazy with rules. And fines. And rules about fines! No collarless tee shirts, no capris, no long hair for boys, no cargo pants etc etc. Violation of any of these rules would result in the aforementioned fine. Eg. No ID card - 100/-. Loss of ID card - 500/-. Parking in faculty parking actually gives our security guards the right to deflate the car's tyre. No really, I'm not kidding!!

Oh, I forgot to mention, there are more security guards in college than students. OK, maybe I'm exaggerating just a littlre, but definitely more than teachers! and they're each equipped with these really annoying whistles which they use to chase us around the place. Bunking class - *whistle*, standing on the drive - *whistle*, no ID card - *whistle*, you get my drift. You don't?? *WHISTLE*

Oh also, to frisk girls in order to check for mobile phones, OMGIT employed female security guards. NO, I'M NOT LYING!!

Anyways, getting to the crux of this post.. I don't know why I was surprised when I actually heard of this article. The article is reproduced below.

Red cards for erring students

A reputed city college seems to have taken the analogy of the ‘rules of the game’ a tad too seriously. OMGIT has come out with ‘infraction slips’ a la hockey’s green, yellow and red cards, and students in the ‘red’ category face suspension and a black mark on their certificates.

For a minor offence on the hockey field, you get a green card as a warning. If you commit a major infraction, you are shown a yellow card. And if you go ballistic and are guilty of a major offence, a red card and suspension from the game are inevitable.

Now, this ‘hockey’ rule has made its debut in a leading engineering college of the city. The difference is that instead of cards, the college issues an infraction slip that comes in minor (hockey’s ‘green’), major (‘yellow’) and severe (‘red’) categories. A student who gets a ‘severe’ infraction slip faces certain suspension.

The initiative by OMGIT, a first among engineering colleges, applies to the college campus as well as its hostels. ‘Severe-slipped’ students not only face suspension, their marks cards, degree certificates and transfer certificates are also liable to be stamped with the legend — ‘Disciplined for bad conduct’.


As with match referees, the college’s lecturers and hostel wardens will have suo motu powers to hand out infraction slips to errant students at a moment’s notice. Explaining the disciplinary process, OMGIT principal Dr I-Definitely-Have-Something-Up-My-Ass said, “Depending on the magnitude of the offence, action will be taken. For example, if a student does not sport his identity card, which is mandatory, he will get a ‘minor’ slip. If he continues with the violation, his offence will be stepped up to ‘major’ and then ‘severe’. Obviously, cases of students vandalising furniture or lighting crackers inside the classroom will be classified right away as ‘severe’.”

The college guidelines list 22 different types of misdemeanours which students will have to watch out for, including 'styly’ (sic) beards, fancy moustaches and a ‘punk’ appearance!

Elaborating on the process, Dr Up-My-Ass said, “Obviously, we will not suspend a student after the first slip as it is just a warning. The second slip is a serious warning and the third one will mean suspension. The number of days the student remains suspended depends on his behaviour and can range from two days to a week.” Justifying the college management’s move, he said it was necessary to raise the standards of the institution.


The slips will be in triplicate. One copy will be handed over to the student, the second to THE parents and the third will be kept in the relevant college department with details entered against the student’s name in the code of conduct register. The rules and regulations are available for reference in the library, departments and website of the college.

Once a student is suspended, a disciplinary committee will review his/her behaviour. The student will have the right of appeal against his suspension. In extreme cases, the committee can withhold the marks card and certificates of the student.

List of violations.

1. Classroom /pathway/ corridor disruption.

2. Collarless T-shirts / Cargo pants/ flimsy dress/ styly (sic) beard / fancy moustache / punk appearance / sleeveless tops / low-waist pants / any other indecent dress / non-wearing of ID card.

3. Inappropriate outside classroom behaviour.

4. Late arrival to class/lab and college activities.

5. Failure to return required signed forms.

6. Verbal/written/physical abuse aimed towards other students/staff.

7. Damage/misuse/stealing of tools, equipment or material.

8. Argumentative, defiance of responsibility (sic).

9. Possession of firearms, fireworks or weapons.

10. Possession, consumption or distribution of alcoholic drinks, addictive/objectionable drugs or smoking.

11. Threatening/intimidation/actual acts of violence and attacks.

12. Any kind of immoral activity.

13. Unfair means/malpractices/ proxy/impersonation in attendance/tests/exams.

14. Irregular attendance in class, labs, workshops.

15. Misuse of mobile phones, laptops and other gadgets.

16. Ragging of any form, or and off campus.

17. Behaviour which brings the college into disrepute.

18. Extortion, inducement to part money (sic) for inappropriate or false means.

19. Spreading harmful rumours

20. Fraud, deceit, deception or dishonesty.

21. Breach of any college/hostel regulation or code of conduct.

22. Any other (to be detailed by the faculty).

I am currently violating many of these aforementioned rules. You can do so too, by posting a comment, about the sorry state of affairs at OMGIT.

Lets all pray that Dr. Up-My-Ass grows some brains. ASAP. *silent prayer*


Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Redefining irony..

When my Rajasthani project guide asks us, after he visits Mysore for the weekend, if we've ever been to any fort in Rajasthan (when in fact, we had landed in Bangalore, from Udaipur, just the previous day; a fact he was completely unaware of), because, the Mysore palace, in comparison to them, is absolutely nothing!

Oh, except for the tables made of ivory.

Monday, April 6, 2009

The silver lining...

Is that, after today I have(hopefully) only two more internals to write before I get out of this God forsaken place.