Tuesday, July 14, 2009

The highs, the lows, the maybe's, the damnits and the hell yeah's!

I wish I were 18.

Even though 22 has been my favourite age by far, I still can't help wanting to be 18, going back to a simpler time. Actually thinking, a simpler time would be, say 3, but that's kind of impractical. Not that this isn't, but still.

I would've done so many things differently.

For starters, I would've insisted on shifting to another city and living in a hostel, because right now I'm too spoilt and too used to home to be anywhere else. Put me in a deserted island and ask me what I'd take with me and the answer is an inflatable boat which would get me back home. Not Jude Law, not John Mayer. A boat.

I would've made an actual attempt at learning to play the guitar. I have a guitar. And. I cannot play it. Unless you count playing every song with the C, G, D chords, then yes. I am the next Hendrix. And don't say atleast you learnt that much. Its not much, not much at all.

No surprises here. I would have taken up a design course. I'm not an expert at any form of design right now, and I'm not saying that NID or NIFT would be laying out red carpets for me. But if I'd known then, that, computers aren't as cool as they're made out to be (no offense to anyone) (well actually, computers are pretty cool and I don't see myself without one, but I don't see myself sitting in front of one all the time, either), then I wouldn't have decided to go (settle) with engineering.

And, the crush I had on that 19 year old would seem anything but ick. I know. And, don't judge me. :-|

I would not have been a moody pain-in-the-ass. I was impossible back then. I got angry easily, fought with people for really stupid reasons (some of whom I'm still not speaking to) and got way too attached to people. Trust me, if you know me now, I'm much better. Yes, the mood swings used to be more frequent, longer in duration and none of them ended well. Note. I did not cry. Not then, not now. I was born with a heart of stone. I don't know how my friends were friends with me.

I would have, in capitals, bold and italics, THROWN, my cellphone off some mountain.

But now that I am 22, never lived in a hostel, an amateur at playing the guitar, an engineer (God, it still feels weird saying that), LESS moody and still with a cellphone, there are things I wouldn't dream of changing.

Staying home. Any other college's hostel would be OK. But the hostel in the college I studied in, big no-no. According to my friends, their warden was Hitler. No kidding.

Well, I didn't learn the guitar. But I can sing. Which doesn't change anything, but does make things slightly better, no? Yes.

Engineering. Ah, its a love-hate relationship, really. Hate the degree, hate the courses, hated the teachers, hated that they made us come to college on Sunday to compensate for some other suddenly-declared holiday, hated internals, hated externals, really HATED lab externals. But then, all the bunking, bitching, sleeping in classes, eating in classes, fighting for internal marks, fighting with teachers for everything, pretending to listen, doing anything but listening in class, drawing instead of taking notes, getting thrown out of class, going out after college, alcohol, that lake near college, NICE road, Dance dance Revolution. The list continues, and I'm going to mention just about everything I can remember. M's desserts, karting, being in a band, movies at Forum, Wii at R's place, sleepovers at K's place, sports day at S' place, messing up P's and B's place, and V's and D's and just about every alphabet's place, shopping for gifts, BIRTHDAYS, SURPRISES, TREATS, B.U, Gokarna, Udaipur, GOA, pulling everyone's legs, getting my legs pulled (sorry A, if you actually read this), everything! I'll miss it all, not the getting my legs pulled so much, but really I'll miss it all. And come to think about it, I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world!

Ah, that 19 year old. Someday when I'm 99 and he's 96, it'll hardly make a difference, yeah? (pathetic, pathetic)

And the moody bit. I think we can all agree (by we, I mean those of you who actually know me), I've gotten better over the 4 years. And if you expected more, screw you. You aren't perfect either. Yeah, the rude bit won't ever change, so get used to it.

As for the cellphone, prank calls and prank-messages kind of make up for it. :)

Oh. Lookie here. Turns out, I was fine all along.


Miss M said...

I have such a wish list too.

Wish I could go back in time and re-do some of the things I did, change some of the decisions I took.

I also think I wouldn't studied engineering either.

Well. Everything happens for a reason I guess and along with many hopeful fools (or not) out there, I'm hoping something really fantastic is in store for me in the future.


~R~ said...

Your BEST post so far.

CRD said...

hehe, interesting bits.

I haven't figured out how to play the guitar either. Only, i'm worse off than you are, I cant even identify the enharmonics and frets.

I'm pretty moody too. I can hold grudges for years. And i have revenge on my mind all the time, except that i hardly ever turn it into action :P

Nice blog. Blogrollin ya


CRD said...

and hey, ive sent u an invie to my orkut ommunity, but i dunno if its gone to ur email inbox or ur orkut one. so chk accordingly

and heres my blog

Silverstreak said...

@ Miss M - There is there is. Its going to be, wait-for-it, AWESOME!

@~R~ - Thengue :)

@CRD - Will do. I don't check Orkut often, though. Also, I'm not very moody now. Much much better.

The Footloose Doll said...

It's funny you know, that I'm doing pretty much the same things right now. A course I don't want to pursue, at home, always on the phone, the mood swings, the attachment.

I wish I had this hindsight right now but I guess that's not possible. :)

The Footloose Doll said...

Oh and I love the template.

perplexed said...

nice post! :)

I wish i were 15 for a lot reasons! and granted a wish to travel back in time I would have done a lot of things differently!

and hey but you are really REALLY good at guitar hero! that's something :D

Shanu said...

Hmm there are quite a few things that i wld love to do differently if i cld go back in time..i am sure all of us do!

Akaash said...

Considering the numerous trips to J-Cubez, I find it surprising that you actually remember so much about being 18.

Or 22, for that matter ;)

Apologies. I kid. Very nice post :)

Silverstreak said...

@Footloose Doll - I guess we all learn from our mistakes. I hope you do too, a little earlier than all us fools. :)

@perplexed - Really?? I know people who would disagree with that too!! Lol.

@Shanu - Yup. Bad/wrong decisions are a part of life.

@Akaash - Accepted. :)

I have one word for you. BLOG.