How to get me to totally loathe you:
Tell me, two days before the algorithms mid-term, in which you previously scored an 83 and in which I scored a measly 36, to teach you the topics in the aforementioned subject!
Showing posts with label dumbfucks. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dumbfucks. Show all posts
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Let the venting commence..
Remember this?
Maybe you do, maybe you don't, because that was a time in my life when I decided let it just be the blog and me. Anyway, now that you've read it, you get the gist.
Note - The tone of the 'author'/blogger is currently that of resentment. Partly against herself, partly against people she knows in her new city of residence.
I function with music. Its true, I really do. I actually do literally eat, drink, breathe, sleep music. I'm NEVER out without my Ipod. I like the music on when I'm sleeping. I sing in the shower. To sum it up in one line (which actually is impossible), music is HUUUGE for me. Like really huge. Like religion. That's right. Music is my religion.
So when I decided to come to the city where I currently reside, I thought to myself, wow! I'm going to be going for some amazing concerts here! There are going to be bands playing here EVERY week. I will finally meet John Mayer! (Which I will, for sure, but you get the drift)
Well, as it turns out, I was right. Partly. There ARE concerts here every week. There ARE shows happening every moment. Things are here and happening every second of the day!
You know the fuck up?
I'm not going for ANY of them! Why?? Not because of lack of resources, nor lack of time, but for lack of, wait-for-it, COMPANY! Yes, I kid you not. Its lack of fucking company.
So, today I get up and I receive an email that Arctic Monkeys are playing at Hollywood. Tonight! Yes! Arctic Monkeys!! I hurriedly check for tickets and find out there aren't any left. OK, this wasn't anyone's fault.
Saturday - September 19th - Porcupine Tree. Barely 2 miles from where I live. When I ask people if they want to come, they go, Porcupine what? I tell them I will give them their music, which is awesome, they go how does that make any sense. CAN YOU BELIEVE PEOPLE HAVEN'T HEARD OF PORCUPINE TREE!!? Other excuses - 'I'm saving up for Metallica.' Which btw, is AFTER FOUR EFFING MONTHS!
October 19th - Snow Patrol.
'Oh I know Snow Patrol, Chasing Cars.'
Hmm, I know, so will you come?
'Oh, I don't know, I haven't heard any other song.'
!!!!!!
SERIOUSLY. This one I've decided for, I will go alone if I have to!
This is one of the many instances where I really really REALLY miss my friends back home. I know, for a fact, that if Snow Patrol or Arctic Monkeys or Porcupine Tree were playing in India, we wouldn't miss it! Or for that matter, even if, concerts in India were a frequent thing, I KNOW, they wouldn't say, this will probably happen again, we'll go next time. No, they wouldn't! They would, in fact say, hey 'XYZ's' playing again! Lets go again! That's what they would say! Be it before an exam or anything, I know, if I were in India right now, or better still, if my friends were HERE, I wouldn't be missing Porcupine Tree or even Bryan Adams for that matter!
Gah!
If any of you back home are reading this, I love you guys, you're the best. No, seriously!
Maybe you do, maybe you don't, because that was a time in my life when I decided let it just be the blog and me. Anyway, now that you've read it, you get the gist.
Note - The tone of the 'author'/blogger is currently that of resentment. Partly against herself, partly against people she knows in her new city of residence.
I function with music. Its true, I really do. I actually do literally eat, drink, breathe, sleep music. I'm NEVER out without my Ipod. I like the music on when I'm sleeping. I sing in the shower. To sum it up in one line (which actually is impossible), music is HUUUGE for me. Like really huge. Like religion. That's right. Music is my religion.
So when I decided to come to the city where I currently reside, I thought to myself, wow! I'm going to be going for some amazing concerts here! There are going to be bands playing here EVERY week. I will finally meet John Mayer! (Which I will, for sure, but you get the drift)
Well, as it turns out, I was right. Partly. There ARE concerts here every week. There ARE shows happening every moment. Things are here and happening every second of the day!
You know the fuck up?
I'm not going for ANY of them! Why?? Not because of lack of resources, nor lack of time, but for lack of, wait-for-it, COMPANY! Yes, I kid you not. Its lack of fucking company.
So, today I get up and I receive an email that Arctic Monkeys are playing at Hollywood. Tonight! Yes! Arctic Monkeys!! I hurriedly check for tickets and find out there aren't any left. OK, this wasn't anyone's fault.
Saturday - September 19th - Porcupine Tree. Barely 2 miles from where I live. When I ask people if they want to come, they go, Porcupine what? I tell them I will give them their music, which is awesome, they go how does that make any sense. CAN YOU BELIEVE PEOPLE HAVEN'T HEARD OF PORCUPINE TREE!!? Other excuses - 'I'm saving up for Metallica.' Which btw, is AFTER FOUR EFFING MONTHS!
October 19th - Snow Patrol.
'Oh I know Snow Patrol, Chasing Cars.'
Hmm, I know, so will you come?
'Oh, I don't know, I haven't heard any other song.'
!!!!!!
SERIOUSLY. This one I've decided for, I will go alone if I have to!
This is one of the many instances where I really really REALLY miss my friends back home. I know, for a fact, that if Snow Patrol or Arctic Monkeys or Porcupine Tree were playing in India, we wouldn't miss it! Or for that matter, even if, concerts in India were a frequent thing, I KNOW, they wouldn't say, this will probably happen again, we'll go next time. No, they wouldn't! They would, in fact say, hey 'XYZ's' playing again! Lets go again! That's what they would say! Be it before an exam or anything, I know, if I were in India right now, or better still, if my friends were HERE, I wouldn't be missing Porcupine Tree or even Bryan Adams for that matter!
Gah!
If any of you back home are reading this, I love you guys, you're the best. No, seriously!
Saturday, April 18, 2009
ABSOLUTE RIDICULOUSNESS. NO, REALLY.
This will be a slightly long post. But don't skip, it is MOST entertaining. I vouch for it!
Small thinking exercise. Multiply the most ridiculous thing you've ever seen or read about by, hmmm, lets say, ten thousand, and you get this.
*what rubbish, nothing can be as bad as Lallu Prasad Yadav, or even Pramod Mutalik for that matter*
Read on.
*for reasons (mainly, my own education), I shall not mention the name of the college in mention*
Actually lets have some fun and call it, OMGIT -Oh my God - Institute of Tech.
A brief introduction.
Recently, in a famous Bangalore newspaper, there was a news article about OMGIT. I study in OMGIT. OMGIT is a professional engineering college in Bangalore. And all the students in this particular college, like all other engineering colleges are all above the age of, say 18. Adults. OMGIT has always been a little overboard and crazy with rules. And fines. And rules about fines! No collarless tee shirts, no capris, no long hair for boys, no cargo pants etc etc. Violation of any of these rules would result in the aforementioned fine. Eg. No ID card - 100/-. Loss of ID card - 500/-. Parking in faculty parking actually gives our security guards the right to deflate the car's tyre. No really, I'm not kidding!!
Oh, I forgot to mention, there are more security guards in college than students. OK, maybe I'm exaggerating just a littlre, but definitely more than teachers! and they're each equipped with these really annoying whistles which they use to chase us around the place. Bunking class - *whistle*, standing on the drive - *whistle*, no ID card - *whistle*, you get my drift. You don't?? *WHISTLE*
Oh also, to frisk girls in order to check for mobile phones, OMGIT employed female security guards. NO, I'M NOT LYING!!
Anyways, getting to the crux of this post.. I don't know why I was surprised when I actually heard of this article. The article is reproduced below.
Small thinking exercise. Multiply the most ridiculous thing you've ever seen or read about by, hmmm, lets say, ten thousand, and you get this.
*what rubbish, nothing can be as bad as Lallu Prasad Yadav, or even Pramod Mutalik for that matter*
Read on.
*for reasons (mainly, my own education), I shall not mention the name of the college in mention*
Actually lets have some fun and call it, OMGIT -Oh my God - Institute of Tech.
A brief introduction.
Recently, in a famous Bangalore newspaper, there was a news article about OMGIT. I study in OMGIT. OMGIT is a professional engineering college in Bangalore. And all the students in this particular college, like all other engineering colleges are all above the age of, say 18. Adults. OMGIT has always been a little overboard and crazy with rules. And fines. And rules about fines! No collarless tee shirts, no capris, no long hair for boys, no cargo pants etc etc. Violation of any of these rules would result in the aforementioned fine. Eg. No ID card - 100/-. Loss of ID card - 500/-. Parking in faculty parking actually gives our security guards the right to deflate the car's tyre. No really, I'm not kidding!!
Oh, I forgot to mention, there are more security guards in college than students. OK, maybe I'm exaggerating just a littlre, but definitely more than teachers! and they're each equipped with these really annoying whistles which they use to chase us around the place. Bunking class - *whistle*, standing on the drive - *whistle*, no ID card - *whistle*, you get my drift. You don't?? *WHISTLE*
Oh also, to frisk girls in order to check for mobile phones, OMGIT employed female security guards. NO, I'M NOT LYING!!
Anyways, getting to the crux of this post.. I don't know why I was surprised when I actually heard of this article. The article is reproduced below.
Red cards for erring students
A reputed city college seems to have taken the analogy of the ‘rules of the game’ a tad too seriously. OMGIT has come out with ‘infraction slips’ a la hockey’s green, yellow and red cards, and students in the ‘red’ category face suspension and a black mark on their certificates.
For a minor offence on the hockey field, you get a green card as a warning. If you commit a major infraction, you are shown a yellow card. And if you go ballistic and are guilty of a major offence, a red card and suspension from the game are inevitable.
Now, this ‘hockey’ rule has made its debut in a leading engineering college of the city. The difference is that instead of cards, the college issues an infraction slip that comes in minor (hockey’s ‘green’), major (‘yellow’) and severe (‘red’) categories. A student who gets a ‘severe’ infraction slip faces certain suspension.
The initiative by OMGIT, a first among engineering colleges, applies to the college campus as well as its hostels. ‘Severe-slipped’ students not only face suspension, their marks cards, degree certificates and transfer certificates are also liable to be stamped with the legend — ‘Disciplined for bad conduct’.
NO QUESTIONS ASKED
As with match referees, the college’s lecturers and hostel wardens will have suo motu powers to hand out infraction slips to errant students at a moment’s notice. Explaining the disciplinary process, OMGIT principal Dr I-Definitely-Have-Something-Up-My-Ass said, “Depending on the magnitude of the offence, action will be taken. For example, if a student does not sport his identity card, which is mandatory, he will get a ‘minor’ slip. If he continues with the violation, his offence will be stepped up to ‘major’ and then ‘severe’. Obviously, cases of students vandalising furniture or lighting crackers inside the classroom will be classified right away as ‘severe’.”
The college guidelines list 22 different types of misdemeanours which students will have to watch out for, including 'styly’ (sic) beards, fancy moustaches and a ‘punk’ appearance!
Elaborating on the process, Dr Up-My-Ass said, “Obviously, we will not suspend a student after the first slip as it is just a warning. The second slip is a serious warning and the third one will mean suspension. The number of days the student remains suspended depends on his behaviour and can range from two days to a week.” Justifying the college management’s move, he said it was necessary to raise the standards of the institution.
BLACK MARK
The slips will be in triplicate. One copy will be handed over to the student, the second to THE parents and the third will be kept in the relevant college department with details entered against the student’s name in the code of conduct register. The rules and regulations are available for reference in the library, departments and website of the college.
Once a student is suspended, a disciplinary committee will review his/her behaviour. The student will have the right of appeal against his suspension. In extreme cases, the committee can withhold the marks card and certificates of the student.
List of violations.
1. Classroom /pathway/ corridor disruption.
2. Collarless T-shirts / Cargo pants/ flimsy dress/ styly (sic) beard / fancy moustache / punk appearance / sleeveless tops / low-waist pants / any other indecent dress / non-wearing of ID card.
3. Inappropriate outside classroom behaviour.
4. Late arrival to class/lab and college activities.
5. Failure to return required signed forms.
6. Verbal/written/physical abuse aimed towards other students/staff.
7. Damage/misuse/stealing of tools, equipment or material.
8. Argumentative, defiance of responsibility (sic).
9. Possession of firearms, fireworks or weapons.
10. Possession, consumption or distribution of alcoholic drinks, addictive/objectionable drugs or smoking.
11. Threatening/intimidation/actual acts of violence and attacks.
12. Any kind of immoral activity.
13. Unfair means/malpractices/ proxy/impersonation in attendance/tests/exams.
14. Irregular attendance in class, labs, workshops.
15. Misuse of mobile phones, laptops and other gadgets.
16. Ragging of any form, or and off campus.
17. Behaviour which brings the college into disrepute.
18. Extortion, inducement to part money (sic) for inappropriate or false means.
19. Spreading harmful rumours
20. Fraud, deceit, deception or dishonesty.
21. Breach of any college/hostel regulation or code of conduct.
22. Any other (to be detailed by the faculty).
I am currently violating many of these aforementioned rules. You can do so too, by posting a comment, about the sorry state of affairs at OMGIT.
Lets all pray that Dr. Up-My-Ass grows some brains. ASAP. *silent prayer*
Amen.
For a minor offence on the hockey field, you get a green card as a warning. If you commit a major infraction, you are shown a yellow card. And if you go ballistic and are guilty of a major offence, a red card and suspension from the game are inevitable.
Now, this ‘hockey’ rule has made its debut in a leading engineering college of the city. The difference is that instead of cards, the college issues an infraction slip that comes in minor (hockey’s ‘green’), major (‘yellow’) and severe (‘red’) categories. A student who gets a ‘severe’ infraction slip faces certain suspension.
The initiative by OMGIT, a first among engineering colleges, applies to the college campus as well as its hostels. ‘Severe-slipped’ students not only face suspension, their marks cards, degree certificates and transfer certificates are also liable to be stamped with the legend — ‘Disciplined for bad conduct’.
NO QUESTIONS ASKED
As with match referees, the college’s lecturers and hostel wardens will have suo motu powers to hand out infraction slips to errant students at a moment’s notice. Explaining the disciplinary process, OMGIT principal Dr I-Definitely-Have-Something-Up-My-Ass said, “Depending on the magnitude of the offence, action will be taken. For example, if a student does not sport his identity card, which is mandatory, he will get a ‘minor’ slip. If he continues with the violation, his offence will be stepped up to ‘major’ and then ‘severe’. Obviously, cases of students vandalising furniture or lighting crackers inside the classroom will be classified right away as ‘severe’.”
The college guidelines list 22 different types of misdemeanours which students will have to watch out for, including 'styly’ (sic) beards, fancy moustaches and a ‘punk’ appearance!
Elaborating on the process, Dr Up-My-Ass said, “Obviously, we will not suspend a student after the first slip as it is just a warning. The second slip is a serious warning and the third one will mean suspension. The number of days the student remains suspended depends on his behaviour and can range from two days to a week.” Justifying the college management’s move, he said it was necessary to raise the standards of the institution.
BLACK MARK
The slips will be in triplicate. One copy will be handed over to the student, the second to THE parents and the third will be kept in the relevant college department with details entered against the student’s name in the code of conduct register. The rules and regulations are available for reference in the library, departments and website of the college.
Once a student is suspended, a disciplinary committee will review his/her behaviour. The student will have the right of appeal against his suspension. In extreme cases, the committee can withhold the marks card and certificates of the student.
List of violations.
1. Classroom /pathway/ corridor disruption.
2. Collarless T-shirts / Cargo pants/ flimsy dress/ styly (sic) beard / fancy moustache / punk appearance / sleeveless tops / low-waist pants / any other indecent dress / non-wearing of ID card.
3. Inappropriate outside classroom behaviour.
4. Late arrival to class/lab and college activities.
5. Failure to return required signed forms.
6. Verbal/written/physical abuse aimed towards other students/staff.
7. Damage/misuse/stealing of tools, equipment or material.
8. Argumentative, defiance of responsibility (sic).
9. Possession of firearms, fireworks or weapons.
10. Possession, consumption or distribution of alcoholic drinks, addictive/objectionable drugs or smoking.
11. Threatening/intimidation/actual acts of violence and attacks.
12. Any kind of immoral activity.
13. Unfair means/malpractices/ proxy/impersonation in attendance/tests/exams.
14. Irregular attendance in class, labs, workshops.
15. Misuse of mobile phones, laptops and other gadgets.
16. Ragging of any form, or and off campus.
17. Behaviour which brings the college into disrepute.
18. Extortion, inducement to part money (sic) for inappropriate or false means.
19. Spreading harmful rumours
20. Fraud, deceit, deception or dishonesty.
21. Breach of any college/hostel regulation or code of conduct.
22. Any other (to be detailed by the faculty).
I am currently violating many of these aforementioned rules. You can do so too, by posting a comment, about the sorry state of affairs at OMGIT.
Lets all pray that Dr. Up-My-Ass grows some brains. ASAP. *silent prayer*
Amen.
Friday, March 20, 2009
Life's a bitch!
I just deleted 8Gigs of music from my computer by mistake!
No backup.
:(:(:(
Aaargh, I'm so pissed at myself!!!!!
No backup.
:(:(:(
Aaargh, I'm so pissed at myself!!!!!
Thursday, February 5, 2009
You've got mail
*this post does not seek to attack any religion or culture. It is, however directed at many people. I shall not take this post out, no matter what*
You may now resume reading.
The above statement was necessary, considering recent situations.
... I love my country, and am proud of its rich and varied culture, I shall always strive to be worthy of it...
I mean it. I do. I love my country. I love that I am Indian. I loved taking this pledge during the Independence and Republic day celebrations in school, and when I did, I did it sincerely, meaning every word of it.
I don't, however like all Indians.
Number 1 on that list being: Pramod Mutalik.
Dear. No scratch that. To, Mr. Mutalik,
Dude, your existence seriously bothers me. Who the hell are you, anyway? Who gave you the right to even touch a woman? Who the fuck are you to decide what women should do and what they shouldn't? Who the hell are you decide that women must not consume alcohol? Who the hell are you to say that only men must enter pubs? Which part of Indian culture allows you to hit women? Who said you could make the rules? I hope you die, and with you, all those idiot men in your group. Especially the one, 'chote chote kapde pehenke, completely boozing'. That dude. I hope you are trampled by a hoard of women.
2. Barkha Dutt.
Ms Dutt,
I used to like you. I thought you were smart. I loved you at Kargil. I was younger then and considered you really brave then. Even after the 26/11 attacks, after those personal attacks were thrown at you, I refrained from saying anything. But when you crossed the line, and asked the blogger Mr. Kunte, to withdraw his post and publicly apologise, you pissed me off. I mean seriously. You go on and on all the time about the right to free speech and all that jazz, and when someone disses you, instead of taking it and letting it go, this is how you react? Have you heard of the word opinion? It belongs to every person on this planet. And if you don't agree with someone elses, then you just have to live with it. You can't force them to think like you. You need to grow up.
3. Politicians in India. Except Rahul Gandhi and Omar Abdullah, and some others.
The leaders of our country,
There's a line in the oath which goes, 'To my country and its people, I pledge my devotion.' What happened to that? Why is it that the money that could be used to train NSG commandos and make sure that they are placed all over the country, is instead used to buy you guys a new Mercedes Benz? Why is it that all that money which could eliminate poverty in the country goes into your personal treasury? Why is it that our PM, after the 26/11 attacks has only come on the news to condemn the attacks and then later for a by-pass surgery? Why is it that our President has never come on TV to say anything? Why is it that our CM, seeks to tell off pub culture first, when there were women being mercilessly beaten up? Shame on you!
4. Mr Bachchan Sr.,
Really, you are definitely the most attention-seeking person on the face of this planet. First you star in every movie and advertisement on Indian television. And then, the one movie you aren't cast in, you start a controversy about. You should really think about disappearing. The world, atleast India, would be a much better place to live in.
5. HOD,
Hmph. I have nothing to say to you. I used to like you too. But then you turned out to be the laziest, most narrow minded, most jobless person on this planet. There are better things for you to d than waiting outside every morning and telling off people who come late everyday. God!
There are some more I can't think of right now. I was going to include Asif Zardari and the terrorists on this list but realized they aren't Indians.
You may now resume reading.
The above statement was necessary, considering recent situations.
... I love my country, and am proud of its rich and varied culture, I shall always strive to be worthy of it...
I mean it. I do. I love my country. I love that I am Indian. I loved taking this pledge during the Independence and Republic day celebrations in school, and when I did, I did it sincerely, meaning every word of it.
I don't, however like all Indians.
Number 1 on that list being: Pramod Mutalik.
Dear. No scratch that. To, Mr. Mutalik,
Dude, your existence seriously bothers me. Who the hell are you, anyway? Who gave you the right to even touch a woman? Who the fuck are you to decide what women should do and what they shouldn't? Who the hell are you decide that women must not consume alcohol? Who the hell are you to say that only men must enter pubs? Which part of Indian culture allows you to hit women? Who said you could make the rules? I hope you die, and with you, all those idiot men in your group. Especially the one, 'chote chote kapde pehenke, completely boozing'. That dude. I hope you are trampled by a hoard of women.
2. Barkha Dutt.
Ms Dutt,
I used to like you. I thought you were smart. I loved you at Kargil. I was younger then and considered you really brave then. Even after the 26/11 attacks, after those personal attacks were thrown at you, I refrained from saying anything. But when you crossed the line, and asked the blogger Mr. Kunte, to withdraw his post and publicly apologise, you pissed me off. I mean seriously. You go on and on all the time about the right to free speech and all that jazz, and when someone disses you, instead of taking it and letting it go, this is how you react? Have you heard of the word opinion? It belongs to every person on this planet. And if you don't agree with someone elses, then you just have to live with it. You can't force them to think like you. You need to grow up.
3. Politicians in India. Except Rahul Gandhi and Omar Abdullah, and some others.
The leaders of our country,
There's a line in the oath which goes, 'To my country and its people, I pledge my devotion.' What happened to that? Why is it that the money that could be used to train NSG commandos and make sure that they are placed all over the country, is instead used to buy you guys a new Mercedes Benz? Why is it that all that money which could eliminate poverty in the country goes into your personal treasury? Why is it that our PM, after the 26/11 attacks has only come on the news to condemn the attacks and then later for a by-pass surgery? Why is it that our President has never come on TV to say anything? Why is it that our CM, seeks to tell off pub culture first, when there were women being mercilessly beaten up? Shame on you!
4. Mr Bachchan Sr.,
Really, you are definitely the most attention-seeking person on the face of this planet. First you star in every movie and advertisement on Indian television. And then, the one movie you aren't cast in, you start a controversy about. You should really think about disappearing. The world, atleast India, would be a much better place to live in.
5. HOD,
Hmph. I have nothing to say to you. I used to like you too. But then you turned out to be the laziest, most narrow minded, most jobless person on this planet. There are better things for you to d than waiting outside every morning and telling off people who come late everyday. God!
There are some more I can't think of right now. I was going to include Asif Zardari and the terrorists on this list but realized they aren't Indians.
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