You've got mail

*this post does not seek to attack any religion or culture. It is, however directed at many people. I shall not take this post out, no matter what*

You may now resume reading.

The above statement was necessary, considering recent situations.

... I love my country, and am proud of its rich and varied culture, I shall always strive to be worthy of it...

I mean it. I do. I love my country. I love that I am Indian. I loved taking this pledge during the Independence and Republic day celebrations in school, and when I did, I did it sincerely, meaning every word of it.

I don't, however like all Indians.

Number 1 on that list being: Pramod Mutalik.

Dear. No scratch that. To, Mr. Mutalik,
Dude, your existence seriously bothers me. Who the hell are you, anyway? Who gave you the right to even touch a woman? Who the fuck are you to decide what women should do and what they shouldn't? Who the hell are you decide that women must not consume alcohol? Who the hell are you to say that only men must enter pubs? Which part of Indian culture allows you to hit women? Who said you could make the rules? I hope you die, and with you, all those idiot men in your group. Especially the one, 'chote chote kapde pehenke, completely boozing'. That dude. I hope you are trampled by a hoard of women.

2. Barkha Dutt.

Ms Dutt,
I used to like you. I thought you were smart. I loved you at Kargil. I was younger then and considered you really brave then. Even after the 26/11 attacks, after those personal attacks were thrown at you, I refrained from saying anything. But when you crossed the line, and asked the blogger Mr. Kunte, to withdraw his post and publicly apologise, you pissed me off. I mean seriously. You go on and on all the time about the right to free speech and all that jazz, and when someone disses you, instead of taking it and letting it go, this is how you react? Have you heard of the word opinion? It belongs to every person on this planet. And if you don't agree with someone elses, then you just have to live with it. You can't force them to think like you. You need to grow up.

3. Politicians in India. Except Rahul Gandhi and Omar Abdullah, and some others.

The leaders of our country,
There's a line in the oath which goes, 'To my country and its people, I pledge my devotion.' What happened to that? Why is it that the money that could be used to train NSG commandos and make sure that they are placed all over the country, is instead used to buy you guys a new Mercedes Benz? Why is it that all that money which could eliminate poverty in the country goes into your personal treasury? Why is it that our PM, after the 26/11 attacks has only come on the news to condemn the attacks and then later for a by-pass surgery? Why is it that our President has never come on TV to say anything? Why is it that our CM, seeks to tell off pub culture first, when there were women being mercilessly beaten up? Shame on you!

4. Mr Bachchan Sr.,
Really, you are definitely the most attention-seeking person on the face of this planet. First you star in every movie and advertisement on Indian television. And then, the one movie you aren't cast in, you start a controversy about. You should really think about disappearing. The world, atleast India, would be a much better place to live in.

5. HOD,
Hmph. I have nothing to say to you. I used to like you too. But then you turned out to be the laziest, most narrow minded, most jobless person on this planet. There are better things for you to d than waiting outside every morning and telling off people who come late everyday. God!

There are some more I can't think of right now. I was going to include Asif Zardari and the terrorists on this list but realized they aren't Indians.