Saturday, April 18, 2009

ABSOLUTE RIDICULOUSNESS. NO, REALLY.

This will be a slightly long post. But don't skip, it is MOST entertaining. I vouch for it!

Small thinking exercise. Multiply the most ridiculous thing you've ever seen or read about by, hmmm, lets say, ten thousand, and you get this.

*what rubbish, nothing can be as bad as Lallu Prasad Yadav, or even Pramod Mutalik for that matter*


Read on.


*for reasons (mainly, my own education), I shall not mention the name of the college in mention*

Actually lets have some fun and call it, OMGIT -Oh my God - Institute of Tech.

A brief introduction.

Recently, in a famous Bangalore newspaper, there was a news article about OMGIT. I study in OMGIT. OMGIT is a professional engineering college in Bangalore. And all the students in this particular college, like all other engineering colleges are all above the age of, say 18. Adults. OMGIT has always been a little overboard and crazy with rules. And fines. And rules about fines! No collarless tee shirts, no capris, no long hair for boys, no cargo pants etc etc. Violation of any of these rules would result in the aforementioned fine. Eg. No ID card - 100/-. Loss of ID card - 500/-. Parking in faculty parking actually gives our security guards the right to deflate the car's tyre. No really, I'm not kidding!!

Oh, I forgot to mention, there are more security guards in college than students. OK, maybe I'm exaggerating just a littlre, but definitely more than teachers! and they're each equipped with these really annoying whistles which they use to chase us around the place. Bunking class - *whistle*, standing on the drive - *whistle*, no ID card - *whistle*, you get my drift. You don't?? *WHISTLE*

Oh also, to frisk girls in order to check for mobile phones, OMGIT employed female security guards. NO, I'M NOT LYING!!

Anyways, getting to the crux of this post.. I don't know why I was surprised when I actually heard of this article. The article is reproduced below.

Red cards for erring students

A reputed city college seems to have taken the analogy of the ‘rules of the game’ a tad too seriously. OMGIT has come out with ‘infraction slips’ a la hockey’s green, yellow and red cards, and students in the ‘red’ category face suspension and a black mark on their certificates.

For a minor offence on the hockey field, you get a green card as a warning. If you commit a major infraction, you are shown a yellow card. And if you go ballistic and are guilty of a major offence, a red card and suspension from the game are inevitable.

Now, this ‘hockey’ rule has made its debut in a leading engineering college of the city. The difference is that instead of cards, the college issues an infraction slip that comes in minor (hockey’s ‘green’), major (‘yellow’) and severe (‘red’) categories. A student who gets a ‘severe’ infraction slip faces certain suspension.

The initiative by OMGIT, a first among engineering colleges, applies to the college campus as well as its hostels. ‘Severe-slipped’ students not only face suspension, their marks cards, degree certificates and transfer certificates are also liable to be stamped with the legend — ‘Disciplined for bad conduct’.

NO QUESTIONS ASKED

As with match referees, the college’s lecturers and hostel wardens will have suo motu powers to hand out infraction slips to errant students at a moment’s notice. Explaining the disciplinary process, OMGIT principal Dr I-Definitely-Have-Something-Up-My-Ass said, “Depending on the magnitude of the offence, action will be taken. For example, if a student does not sport his identity card, which is mandatory, he will get a ‘minor’ slip. If he continues with the violation, his offence will be stepped up to ‘major’ and then ‘severe’. Obviously, cases of students vandalising furniture or lighting crackers inside the classroom will be classified right away as ‘severe’.”

The college guidelines list 22 different types of misdemeanours which students will have to watch out for, including 'styly’ (sic) beards, fancy moustaches and a ‘punk’ appearance!

Elaborating on the process, Dr Up-My-Ass said, “Obviously, we will not suspend a student after the first slip as it is just a warning. The second slip is a serious warning and the third one will mean suspension. The number of days the student remains suspended depends on his behaviour and can range from two days to a week.” Justifying the college management’s move, he said it was necessary to raise the standards of the institution.

BLACK MARK

The slips will be in triplicate. One copy will be handed over to the student, the second to THE parents and the third will be kept in the relevant college department with details entered against the student’s name in the code of conduct register. The rules and regulations are available for reference in the library, departments and website of the college.

Once a student is suspended, a disciplinary committee will review his/her behaviour. The student will have the right of appeal against his suspension. In extreme cases, the committee can withhold the marks card and certificates of the student.


List of violations.

1. Classroom /pathway/ corridor disruption.

2. Collarless T-shirts / Cargo pants/ flimsy dress/ styly (sic) beard / fancy moustache / punk appearance / sleeveless tops / low-waist pants / any other indecent dress / non-wearing of ID card.

3. Inappropriate outside classroom behaviour.

4. Late arrival to class/lab and college activities.

5. Failure to return required signed forms.

6. Verbal/written/physical abuse aimed towards other students/staff.

7. Damage/misuse/stealing of tools, equipment or material.

8. Argumentative, defiance of responsibility (sic).

9. Possession of firearms, fireworks or weapons.

10. Possession, consumption or distribution of alcoholic drinks, addictive/objectionable drugs or smoking.

11. Threatening/intimidation/actual acts of violence and attacks.

12. Any kind of immoral activity.

13. Unfair means/malpractices/ proxy/impersonation in attendance/tests/exams.

14. Irregular attendance in class, labs, workshops.

15. Misuse of mobile phones, laptops and other gadgets.

16. Ragging of any form, or and off campus.

17. Behaviour which brings the college into disrepute.

18. Extortion, inducement to part money (sic) for inappropriate or false means.

19. Spreading harmful rumours

20. Fraud, deceit, deception or dishonesty.

21. Breach of any college/hostel regulation or code of conduct.

22. Any other (to be detailed by the faculty).








I am currently violating many of these aforementioned rules. You can do so too, by posting a comment, about the sorry state of affairs at OMGIT.

Lets all pray that Dr. Up-My-Ass grows some brains. ASAP. *silent prayer*


Amen.

5 comments:

perplexed said...

OH DEAR GOD!!

This is heights! How lucky are you guys to be passing out in a few months before it can get any more insane..if such a thing is ever possible! auggghh... this is just beyond being ridiculous!

my sympathies and my prayers too!

Seriously.. they need to get a freakin grip!

Ping said...

Tell me about it. Our Princy actually questions us if he sees us bunking! We're 22! Sheesh!!


Can't wait to get out of here!

Iceman said...

Hehe! School of engineering?
Poor guys!

--
Hey I updated that tag thing. See if anything is wrong ;)

Iceman said...

And I forgot to mention, my cousin studied in your college. Now I understand why she is so blank all the time. Guess, studying there was a traumatic experience for her after all!

Ping said...

@Iceman - Your tag is fine! Thanks for the mention! :)

Traumatic is right, but did I mention the college name anywhere? Oops, I'm in trouble for sure! Lol.