If men could fly, and Rosie Huntington-Whiteley's very white sweater NEVER got dirty and you've looked at your watch for the hundredth time in an hour, you know you're watching the new Transformers flick.

*spoiler alert*
The (extremely convoluted) plot (in bulets!):

- transformer ship with trapped wounded Autobot, found on moon, when Neil, yes-the Armstrong! and his buds landed, which was kept hushed.
- unemployed Sam Witwicky, living with way-out-of-his-league, not to mention extremely annoying girlfriend, Carly.
- Optimus figures out the moon secret, gets old wounded Autobot, Sentinel, back to the earth, and heals him with the matrix.
- The Sentinel dude is secretly bad and goes beserk trying to get rid of Autobots so he and Megatron can rebuild Cybertron.
- attempts to transport cybertron to earth so human slaves can rebuild it.
- Decepticons vs. Autobots. Autobots win.

Now, did that really need two and a half hours to portray?

Delhi Belly review coming up soon!