Brand New Day

It's been nearly a month since 2010 began.

Thirty days ago, I was telling my friends how 2010 is going to be fantabulous.
Thirty days ago, I was also going on about how we're meant for greatness and how only good things are in store for us.
Thirty days ago, I was happy high, more happy than high.
Thirty days ago, I wanted to make time freeze and remain January 1st forever (or atleast for a couple of days).
Thirty days ago, I was sure I was going for the John Mayer concert in March (I still can, provided I get a job. So please pray that I do).
Thirty days ago, I decided that nice things will definitely happen to you if you take the effort to be nice to people (I'm still trying to do that, fyi).
Thirty days ago, I also decided that this was going to be the beginning and that our lives were completely going to turn around (and being the eternal optimist that I am, it is obviously going to be in a good way!).
Thirty days ago, I knew exactly what I wanted.
(I feel so ashamed of myself because I actually tried to 'comment' out the previous line!)
Thirty days ago, I could not play foozball to save my life.

It's now thirty days after.
Clearly I'm in a contemplative sort of mood.

It's thirty days later now,
...and above still holds.

*Major PMS alert*


So I woke up this morning feeling as shitty as humanly possible. Its been a shitty set of days in LA, with some mad rains. Rains hard enough to cancel the one class I was supposed to attend this week, making me feel shitty. That, actually, worked pretty OK, because I haven't been able to keep my eyes open for the last few days. This jetlag can be quite an annoying thing.

Today was especially bad. I woke up, determined to do SOMETHING, just anything, really. I woke up early (naturally, because I'm still living by India time!), had a bath and was good to go when my mood suddenly swung. I think its post-India syndrome, but I couldn't stop feeling miserable and upset. So I took a long walk in the rain. Unfortunately my ipod decided to turn its back on me too and played the saddest songs in the history of music, good songs nevertheless. And me, I listened. Felt worse. Needless to say, the walk did not help.

As if things aren't bad enough, it seems like I've already managed to piss people off in LA. Because there are fewer conversations, fewer smiles, fewer everything. And I don't even talk that much. I honestly. for the life of me, fathom what's wrong with the world.

I think, and this is the only explanation I've come up with, it's the advent of February. The dreaded month of February. The days of misery seem to have rrived early this year! Man, I'm rambling!

I feel alone. :(

And I feel like such a sissy!

Sigh.