Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Revelations

I crib. I crib everyday about having to study more than I bargained for, study more than the others I know. 
About being away from the people I love.
Everything. Every single day.
I tell people living alone and going away is overrated and at times, I really do believe that.
I call my mum almost everyday and speak to her. We don't explicitly say I miss you to each other (we don't function that way in our family), but I know my mum can't wait to see me, and me, her.
I call my friends or meet them online, tell them how I'd give just about anything to be home. They tell me what's happening in their lives and I feel sorry for myself for not being able to be a part of it.
I think about how I'm still living off my dad and costing him a fortune when people my age are earning and fending for themselves.
I tell myself that it's all part of the plan and I'm going to make it big. Sometimes a little thought creeps into my head, what if it doesn't work out? I push that thought away telling myself that there is no other option and that I'm meant for greatness. That we all are.
Sometimes it's taking away from me, my positivity, the whole experience. At some other times, it makes me realize how lucky I am to still be studying, because there's no way in hell I'm ready for work. I've got an extension to being in college and I'm going to live that up.
Balance, the sooner I learn to master that, the closer to the more-perfect life I'll be. I should try that next semester.

You know what, I just realized, I wouldn't trade my life for anyone's in the world.
Except for a couple of people, but I'm sure, they're like, miserable on the inside!

2 comments:

A.Bushan said...

*so* True!

perplexed said...

I could have written the post myself.. I agree to every bit of it...!

I try herd to keep the 'what if it doesn't work out' thought away. That one thought just messes up everything..

I wouldn't trade my life with anyone either.. maybe samantha brown.. or Ian Wright.. ;)